vellyvet09

02:42 pm

11:55 pm - Death

Lately life has really really sucked, and  not just normal sucking but actually horrible. Two days after a horrible christmas where my mom was really drunk my dog died. and this was the dog that saved my life the first one i actually got. then when i went to the dmv to get my license the people would not let me take the test. never has life ever sucked like this. i just want this year to end fast. and to get back to school

11:38 pm - ugh oops

oops.i kinda flicked bleach water in my moms eyes i feel bad about it, but she deserved it. she just got done doing my hair and she kept burning and she was burning me while blow drying my hair. what the hell "it last longer she says" well i wanna keep my scalp to ya know. and i just got this scratch on my leg from my dog harley he has long nails and all, but its hella deep and i told her about it and she put the brush on my leg the end with the bristles. it hurt "oh i didnt see it i did not know it was there" i was complaining about it and i told her but she doesnt here me. gosh i dont want to be here. why wont she just let me leave my what do i have to do for that to happen. because i will do any thing to get away from her.  

11:20 am - all over again

well its happened again. me and my mom are fighting i kind of asked if she had any friends. she said i was her friends. but i was in a mood told her i was only her until i was 18 then i was gone. well we fought then i think she cried i feel hell a sad about and bad. i want to take it back but then she will think that we were friends or that i liked her and well i kind of don't we don't get along at all. so it kind of sucks but i don't care any more it grown on me.

10:00 pm - what a first.

today me and my mom did not fight at all. i mean she wasn't home which had a lot to do with it, but it's all good i had a lot of time to myself. i mean i got to sleep with no issues at all. so it's all good. ya know if everyday was like today it would the greatest thing in the whole world. she is not now i don't miss it she is with her friend as always. not always the same friend, but she is gone. i just want her here to make me a sandwich. today was a good day it was awesome i got my clothes back they were kinda stolen, but they are back now. i just have to sterilize them now. haha well now i am going to continue my perfect night.

09:54 pm - not again

its happening all over again. me and my mom fighting over the same stupid shit. i just wish that she would stop drinking. i hate this shit i want it to just end. i was asleep on the sofa and i really don't know how it happened. i just took the bed down so i could stretch out i  got really long legs. haha. she puts the sheets on i guess ask me to help i guess its my fault but, i was really tired and didn't she got all pissed as always and goes on i do everything blah blah blah. so she cusses and i get started and voice just starts going out on me and i don't know why. well  i just quite  i told her leave no one wants her here all she does is cause pain, that's what she does so why is she here. i know i seem like a bitch but you have no idea what my mother puts me through at all. it's the gayest thing in the world i wish i could just go back to not knowing go to where it doesn't matter the thing is that it does matter i can't do nothing about that. i am stuck knowing what i know its like i am cursed with this knowledge of everything she put me through just cuz she thought  it was the best thing for me. well she was wrong. and i do feel for her. but that does not make it right at all. i just wish all this conflict and i can go back to my little utopia.

09:54 pm - not again

its happening all over again. me and my mom fighting over the same stupid shit. i just wish that she would stop drinking. i hate this shit i want it to just end. i was asleep on the sofa and i really don't know how it happened. i just took the bed down so i could stretch out i  got really long legs. haha. she puts the sheets on i guess ask me to help i guess its my fault but, i was really tired and didn't she got all pissed as always and goes on i do everything blah blah blah. so she cusses and i get started and voice just starts going out on me and i don't know why. well  i just quite  i told her leave no one wants her here all she does is cause pain, thats what she does so why is she here. i know i seem like a bitch but you have no idea what my mother puts me through at all. it's the gayest thing in the world iwish i could just go back to not knowing go to where it doesnt matter the thing is that it does matter i can't do nothing about that. i am stuck knowing what i know its like i am cursed with this knowledge of everything she put me through just cuz she thought  it was the best thing for me. well she was wrong. and i do feel for her. but that does not make it right at all. i just wish all this conflict and i can go back to my little utopia.

06:43 am - My mom

Well she is back. I told her about Johnny, she said she did not know a Johnny. Will he certainly knows her or at least i think he knows her it sure seemed like it. I mean what kind of guy calls a number he does not know, and starts talking all nasty. I mean gross, but i am tired of thinking about that its just ewww, back to my mother. She is home and back to driving me crazy again. Drinking and all of that stuff talking during the movies and asking all irrelevant questions and stuff. I hate it, it annoys me to death and she is winy like she is the only single mom in the whole entire world because she is not. Ugh there are people in the worse situations than this but she does not care about that no its all about her. I hate having a Valley girl as a mom because she use to be rich she has to have the best and nothing is the best. So she is never happy and very hard to please. I do not care about that now though i gave up on pleasing her along time ago. I guess you can say I quit as a daughter not sure if you can do that, but i did.

Current Mood: aggravated

09:38 am

06:33 am - Tonight

Who has a great relationship with there parents? I don't think ne one does. For me its different for everyone i guess it is different. Well my dad died and i am a bastard. Me and my mom don't get along at all i don't like her decisions or her. That seems mean i know it does that just how it is. I use to though I mean it wasn't always like this not at all. It started a while ago when i started remembering my child hood and everything i guess. That's not a good thing because now i am finally old enough to under stand everything. And tonight i just got pushed over the edge. She has friends but not normal friends because this guys was not normal at all. He called at 4:00 a.m. i hate it. He just starts talking not caring who he is talking to,  tell him my mothers not here he ask what i am doing i say "this is her daughter." He continues i hang up the only sane thing to do. He calls back doesn't he get the hint. i answer he ask for a favor that well lets just say he is horny. I mean what the hell how dare he how dare  my mom. just giving our number out why cant she just be a normal mom. i hate it i hate everything.

Current Mood: crushed